This Joke's On the Bat (-joker-)

Joker had gotten to the Narrows hours before. He had business to attend to in the form of getting a little help from a short man who had something Joker needed: money. He may not like needing money, but things cost and Joker needed those things. Due to that fact, he needed money. He glanced at the goon in the passenger seat and sighed softly. Had he been stood up by some dwarf? Money may usually be power, but Joker held the power here.

"Go find him. Get the money. Come back once you're finished." Joker mumbled, glancing around for a gun before finding one. He pointed at it and looked at Fire. "Take that. Go with him. If you don't get the money, don't bother coming back." He told the pair and picked up the news paper from the dashboard that Brute had been reading a moment before.

Beginning to do the crossword, Joker was stuck on one word - fourteen across, two words, three and seven letters with the clue 'crater creator' - and beginning to get annoyed as he stared down at the empty boxes in the black and white image. Crater creator... He had a sneaking suspicion that the clue had absolutely nothing to do with the actual answer. He heard movement from further down the Narrows and looked over the edge of his news paper to raise an eyebrow. From what he could see, it was a boy of... Joker wasn't sure what age but it didn't matter. Cocky little shit was probably just looking for a fight.

Arc tangent! Joker scribbled the words in and nodded to himself. It didn't have anything to do with the clue. Oh well, it wasn't important as the next clue gave him a giggle. 'Vigilante. Wears black.' Oh, he wondered...

"Bat... Man..." He mumbled to himself before licking at the corners of his mouth as he scribbled the answer in and began chewing on the Biro he was using. What a surprise, the word was six letters long.

Looking over his news paper again, Joker ground his teeth together and threw the paper into the passenger seat with the pen. He wouldn't be able to just sit by while some cocky kid yelled into thin air. Was he trying to attract the Bat? While Joker would be happy to get the Caped Crusader's attention normally, today was a little different. For starters he'd been interrupted during his crossword! And he was busy. He didn't have time for the Bat to come along...

Jamming the door open, Joker gave a small sigh and climbed out of the van while rolling his eyes before slamming the door shut and pulling a knife from his pocket, Joker hid the handle of the knife - a flick knife - in the palm of his gloved hand. The blade hidden within the handle. His dark eyes on the boy in front of him as he stepped forward, away from the van, and began casually walking towards the boy.

"Kid, go home." He said before sucking his cheeks in silently, his tongue pressing against the corners of his mouth while he pushed his bottom jaw out in what seemed to be an annoyed expression. "You don't want to know what goes bump in the night." He added, grin spreading across his painted lips and revealing his yellowed teeth to the young man. He doubted this kid was ready for the scary truths of what lurked in the darkness of Gotham City...

((Notes: I rambled like a boss in this. Sorry.))

Joker raised a painted eyebrow at the first words to come from the kid's lips. Dangerous? They seemed to know him well, at any rate. That was good. Joker knew he still had a reputation now. He may not have had his Harley, or money, but he had a reputation. Reputations were powerful things. If you had a reputation for being dangerous... Well... You held a certain amount of power over everyone else. When you were known as the Prince of Crime... That gave you even more power, which Joker welcomed. It was his city, why wouldn't there be power for him.

"Then Mommy and Daddy know best." Joker commented quietly, his voice low in tone and slightly mocking, his lips pulled into a grin as he began stalking forward. His hand moved ever so slightly to press the small button on his knife and allow the blade to swing out sharply. To reflect what little light there was in this street. To shine and whisper gently to Joker... Or maybe that was just his mind whispering the urge to slice this kid's face open and leave him like that. Hm, both were equally as likely.

He moved just within touching distance of the boy and narrowed his dark eyes slightly as a question occurred to him: Why was this boy here? Before he could consider asking this question, though, more was said.

Insane.

The grin warped into a snarl. The red lips of the Clown Prince of Crime made way for yellow teeth that were bared in anger. Insane?!

"Insane, huh?" Joker asked, his eyes widening a little as his tongue darted out to wet the corners of his mouth. He moved a little closer to the boy and looked directly at his face. If this boy was looking at him, he was looking into his eyes with fury in his normally emotionless eyes. "You wanna know insanity?" He asked, his back straightening slowly as he subconsciously began trying to scare the kid. There was no doubt that he was already at least a little fearful, but a little didn't work for Joker. "In-san-it-y is dressing like a flying rodent and moving around the city - my city." He stated, his voice releasing a slight growl with the last two words as he raised his eyebrows, his eyes widened again. "Insanity is the silly little police playing their silly. Little. Games."

He took a slight step back and grinned again.

"I'm not... I'm not insane." He finished with, his tongue moving to run along the inside of his cheeks. Along the scarring inside his mouth. "Just mad." He said then giggled softly. "What's a little kid like you doing in a big bad place like this, hm? Only us monsters here tonight."

Joker's eyes narrowed, his head turned slightly. Did that guy just change? Really? Gotham was known for the villains, the corruption, the Bat, but freaks? Well, depending on your definition of freaks, it was or wasn't known for them. As far as Joker's definition went? It was well known for them... But this boy... He just seemed to have a whole different kind of freakiness going on. Joker was curious. He still had the urge to rip this kid's cheeks apart and leave him to stumble home, but he was less likely to do it while curious.

Curiosity meant safety for his targets. Joker would be fine so long as they never found that out. Otherwise they might all try to make themselves curious to him and that just wasn't fair!

Frowning a little, Joker was obviously confused. He knew this kid's parents? Had he threatened them? No... Usually if he threatened someone then they'd be dead. Someone's parents couldn't warn him if they'd been threatened. How the hell did he know them?

"Y'know, I... Uh..." He pulled a little of 'eehhh', revealing his teeth again. "I don't recall them. Names?" He asked, raising his eyebrows and licking at the corners of his lips quickly to merely dampen the ends of the scars.

After Joker's small rage about insanity, he could tell the kid was thinking. Anyone probably would while being told by Joker that insanity was being the Bat in his city. That was just the sane reaction to things. That's a shame. Nothing Joker couldn't sort out, though...

The question made Joker's eyes narrow again and look like he was having trouble hearing the kid. Really? Had he not... Had he not noticed the reactions Joker got? Joker opened his mouth, thought for a moment, then closed it again. He sucked his cheeks in momentarily before silently letting them go back to normal.

"Yeah, Kid." He said, his voice somewhat slow while the expression of apparently having not heard him was still on his features. "It's my city. I own this place." He stated, moving towards the boy again, his back once again straightening itself.

At the growled out words, Joker laughed harshly. His laugh almost sounding cough-like. He didn't know the meaning of the word?! Evidently, this kid hadn't been warned about Joker enough. He was a monster according to the news, the papers... His doctors that weren't Harley. He was a terrorist, a freak, a monster... He was never a human to these people. Of course not. That would make them assume that a person could turn into Joker...

Not just any person could, though. Only him.

Hey, if you were going to have a reputation, then Joker would prefer one that made you seem inhuman. If you seemed inhuman, then you weren't expected to have human feelings and emotions. While it was disappointing that there was no hint of hope disappearing in peoples' eyes when Joker wouldn't show mercy, it was a lot more fun when Joker came knocking and the fear was ready. Oh yes.

"You - uh... You think?" He asked, grin spreading across his painted lips. His scars warping to accomadate the expression. His dark eyes shrinking a little at the grin. "Why are you here, Kid? Wanna prove yourself to the big wide world? Wanna prove that you're an adult. That you know the bad side of things?" He asked, tilted his head before he grinned. His tongue poked out to damped the corner of his lips on one side and not the other before he began chewing on the inside of his scars on that side. "You wanna prove yourself against a monster? A freak?" He asked, growling the word freak with obvious hatred of it. "Wanna get a reputation?" He was so close that he could have touched the kid if he just took one, small step forward. He didn't, though. He lingered. He just lingered in the closeness before he pointed at the boy's face with the hand holding the knife. The blade glinting again slightly as it moved.

"You aren't ready to dance with the freaks, Kid. You're still convincing yourself there's no such thing as the boogie man." Joker said, grin having disappeared again, replaced by a look of almost disappointment. Warning and disappointment. "Oh, don't worry." He said, eyes widening a little as though he'd remembered something important for a moment. "There isn't." He added before grinning again. "There's things that are much worse." He finished, still grinning. The last two words having been a cross between growled and barked out. He began laughing a little and turned on the boy, no longer thinking anything more about him than him being some little kid who wanted attention. He wasn't Joker's responsibility, so Joker wouldn't give it to him. It was simple.

((Notes: 811 words. Idk how that happened but ENJOY!))

The answer as to what this kid's parent's name was surprised Joker. Batman had a kid? Why hadn't he at least told Joker? He thought they trusted each other! Ha. Like anyone would trust a guy who dressed as a flying rodent and beat people to a pulp. Though, that did mean this kid had something different about him. Regardless, Joker carried on his merry way through his words, his actions, his judgements. This kid might be the son of Batman, but he didn't seem to have any of Batman's strength. Any of his abilities. Anything that made Batman into the Batman Joker obsessed over. Oh, he knew he obsessed. He was well aware of that. He'd done it with Harley. He did it with the Bat. Hell, he was pretty sure there'd been a small amount of time when he'd obsessed over the Commissioner... But this kid was just a kid. He wasn't interesting to Joker beyond that link. He didn't even have any of the Bat's incorruptible nature...

Oh.

He barely heard the grumbled words through his own thoughts, his own mental plans of what he could do if this boy really was corruptible. He heard enough for them to amuse him, though. For them to make him laugh. It sounded to Joker like he was trying to convince himself more than he was the Clown Prince of Crime. Joker had turned after this and began walking off, though was curious about the boy. Curious about what he was like. Curious as to what Joker could do to him within reason. Curious as to how much the Bat cared about him. Oh, the things he could do...

Looking back at him as he heard words, Joker raised a painted eyebrow. His dark gaze fixated on him. There was the damn red again! There was something more interesting about him. Joker didn't have to give up yet... That was good. He was beginning to like this kid. Not in a creepy way, but in a 'he could be useful against his father' kind of way.

With a hint of a laugh heaving its way out of him, Joker sucked on his front teeth silently while thinking. No, he didn't know this kid. He knew the Bat, but not the brat. Oh, that was good. Joker was impressed with his own thoughts for a moment before they returned to what was at hand. He had to admit, he wasn't sure this kid could actually do anything, but what better thing to do than to find out? Yes, that sounded perfectly safe.

"Ballet? Or... Or can you dance the can can?" He asked, raising his eyebrows before he laughed again. "Kid... Kid... You're talking to me. You... You can't impress me with anger and growling." He told the boy, moving forward again. His hand was resting by his side with the knife. His shoulders were hunched. "What are you trying to prove, Kid? And who to? Because..." He pulled a face of indecisiveness. "Him, Kid? He won't pay attention to anything you try to prove." He licked at the corners of his lips as he paused. "You know that." He nodded with a knowing expression gently changing his painted features. "But... But growling? Heh. What are you? Are... Are you a dog?" He raised his eyebrows again. "Like... Like I asked before, Kid..." His head was held somewhat high now and he looked down at the boy in front of him. "Why are you here?" Joker asked, pronouncing each word deliberately, his voice low. His gaze remaining on the boy's. He guessed he had about five minutes before the goons came back - no doubt they'd come back even if he didn't have the money - and Joker would very much like to find out something about this boy other than the fact that he growled a lot. No kidding he was related to the Bat...

((Notes: I hate this so much. I'm sorry. I'll go into hiding of SHAME.))

Confusion spread across Joker's face as the kid dropped to the ground. What the hell was going on?! That was not the normal reaction to meeting Joker and being told you wouldn't be able to prove anything... And his damned question still hadn't been answered! That was not at the front of his thoughts, though. His main one was 'what is going on here?', and for good reason...

Once the change was complete, Joker paused for merely a moment before hysterical giggles erupted from him. When the boy had said that he was a monster, Joker really hadn't been expecting him to be an actual monster. The fact that he was, though, just made Joker laugh. The growled thought only intensified Joker's laughter. He had a point there.

"E-Evidently!" Joker laughed out, deciding mentally to never expect things again. They never happened. What he expected to happen never did. He always ended up either extremely disappointed or highly amused, surprised and impressed. The latter was Joker's current reaction. Expect to be talking to a normal kid who just thinks he's a freak, a monster... Then find out nope, he's actually a monster...

"When... When you said you were a monster..." Joker began, though his words were lost to laughter for a few minutes before he could continued. "I... I didn't think you meant literally.' He giggled, though soon added: "Not that it's a bad thing."

Oh no. It wasn't a bad thing. It was a very good thing. Another little monster just to throw into the mix. Just to upturn the balance. Oh the chaos that could come. The things they could do together... Joker rarely thought of teaming up, but this time? He'd make an exception. He giggled a little and moved slightly closer. There wasn't a single hint of caution in his movements. Quite the opposite, actually. There was confidence. Confidence that he wouldn't be eaten by the wolf in front of him... And he wouldn't. This kid had come here for a reason. It probably wasn't to eat clowns.

"Y'know... Y'know..." Joker began, breathing out a laugh once he'd finished the second 'y'know'. "There's a place that'll accept you." He said, raising his eyebrows and turning his head slightly. Every kid wanted acceptance, right? What better than acceptance handed to them despite their current state? And who better to offer it than someone who knew what it was like to be demonised and called a freak... A monster...?

Joker's tongue darted out of his mouth to damped the corners of his lips as he watched the wolf. His dark eyes looking directly into the wolf's red ones. His painted lips slowly spreading into a grin - revealing his yellowing teeth as they did so. All while he waited for the answer. Would he or wouldn't he? That was the question. Would he accept Joker's offer - the offer of acceptance, of unspoken security - or wouldn't he? Would he prefer to live life amongst the normal people, who would forever treat him as a freak, a monster, first and a human second, or would he prefer to live amongst the freaks, the monsters, and be surrounded by people who knew what it was like? Who knew about the stares, the whispers, the rumours... It was entirely his choice, and Joker wouldn't have it any other way, but the question was as to which choice he'd make... Joker could only wait to find out, though the grin on his lips said that he already knew the answer.

((Notes: I don't really know what happened at the end, but 590 words of Joker for you! And writing like Emilie Autumn at the end. Oh well! Not sorry!))