Alan Scott Jr

[Alan Scott Jr.]

{Alan Scott Junior}

Name: {Name here}
Nicknames: {AJ}
Age: {27}
Occupation: {Green Lantern/Justice League}

Eye color: {Blue}
Hair color: {Brown}
Playby: {Nathan Fillion}
Canon/Original: { original}
Powers: {Yes or no, if yes then list below}
{1} {Green Lantern Ring}
{2} {Green Lantern Power Battery- Power Batteries are constantly charged by the Central Power Battery to manually fuel about 7200 individual Green Lantern Rings.}
{note-if you want more then two powers just copy the code from one of the other two and then copy and paste and fill out the third power}

Parents: {Alan Scott Sr} {Rose and Thorn}
Siblings: {Jennie-Lynn Hayden} {Todd James Rice }
Children: {N/A} {N/A}
Other: {N/A}

Likes:

[/b][/color]His family}
{The Green Lantern Corps}
{The Huntress}
{The Justice League}
{Being a hero}
[/ul]
Dislikes:

{Sinestro}
{Parallax}
{Any latern that represents fear}
{Getting sick}
{Bugs}[/ul]
Personality: {AJ has a big heart when it comes to family and some can call him the peacemaker when his family gets into fights. He loves to do announcing when it comes to radio, something that his father, Alan Sr did when he first started. AJ would care less what anyone would think of him when it comes to his carrer not only as a hero but a Green Lantern too. AJ doesn't like people who betray him or any one of his friends *cough* Sinestro *cough* . He loves the ladies, especially his interest in The Huntress}

History: {Alan Scott Junior is the son of Alan Scott Sr. (the first green lantern) and Rose and Thorne. Growing up with his siblings Jennie (Jade) and Todd (Obsidian), he lived a long and good normal life with his adoptive parents but would never hear anything about his real parents. One day, AJ was almost in a car crash with a drunk driver but suddenly this green ring saved AJ's life and at first he didn't know what to do with it but to put it on. As he did, the ring started to take him to the planet Oa where he met his father, the first green lantern Alan Scott Senior, and from that day forward Alan Sr trained AJ to become a green lantern so that one day he can represent the green lanterns. Now AJ is a green lantern who has also become a green lantern, saving others everyday and he even serves as a active member of the Justice League due to his heroics. }

RP Sample: {The Green Lantern, Alan Scott Junior flew to the skies above the city he was raised in doing his regularly patrol . It was his job to protect the city and save lives even though he isn't the only hero in the world. His father, Alan Scott Senior was the first human to become a part of the Green Lantern Corps. He never knew that much about him while he lived with his adopted parents. Every time when he would watch television or the news, his father appeared, saving the day and showing no fear. If that accident did not happen, AJ would not get the green ring and become the Green Lantern or would he? He was glad to be who he is today and that is a hero known throughout the world.

Suddenly, the sound of bullets were heard as AJ looked down, seeing a shootout between cops and robbers outside of a bank. “That’s my cue”, The Green Lantern said as he flew down to where the action is taking place. With his hand in a fist, the green ring beamed, forming into a fist of its own, hitting the robbers guns out of their hands. Then, the greeen ring put them in some kind of small prison cell for each one. The robbers were confused and started to pull on each prison cell as AJ flew down in front of them. “Haven’t anyone of you guys ever learn of looking up at all times?”, he asked them and chuckled. He turned around to look at the cops and told them they could take the robbers before AJ flew back up to continued his patrol around the city. “It feels good to be a hero”, he said with a smirk.}


----------

Your name: {Nathan}
Random Fact about you: {fact here}
Custom Title for Character: {Green Lantern}


[/size][/blockquote]

[elegant badass silence]

PENDING!

The thing you need to watch out for is how you word your sentences and to keep with one tense, in this context it would be past.

Like the "he asked them and chuckled" could be changed to "he chuckled" or "he asked with a chuckle".

The "in doing his regularly" (there shouldn't be an 'ly' there) "patrol that he does every night" sounds a little off, you might want to either rephrase it and take the "ly" out.

"wasn't the only hero in the world" should be "isn't the only hero".

The whole sentence of "He did come from a family of heroes but also villains too." sounds a little off. It doesn't make sense when you say "but also villains too", it doesn't need the "but".

And this one, "but his brother Todd was such a jerk now that he's still a villain" doesn't make sense. The "was" should be "is". And the whole thing with the "that he's still a villain" just doesn't flow.

You keep switching from past and present tense like in this sentence "AJ wished he could do something but all he could do is support his brother", wished and could are past tense, "is", is present tense; it should be "was".

"The sounds of bullets" should just be "sound".

Also the "he said as The Green Lantern flies down" needs to be revised to something like "The Green Lantern said as he flew down".

"First" should be "fist".

"AJ smirked and from the ring" doesn't make sense. What came from the ring?

"It hit the robbers, but put them in some kind of small prison cell for each of them." shouldn't say "but", "and" would work better there.

"started to pull on each prison cell they were in" doesn't need the "they were in" we already know they are in prison cells.

"He turned around at the cops", maybe something more like "he turned around too look at the cops."

"and told them they can take the robbers" is in present tense, you're writing in past so it should be "could" not can.

"as AJ flew back up continued his patrol around the city" should be something like "before he flew back up to continue his patrol around the city."

So that whole sentence should read something like "He turned around to look at the cops and told them they could take the robbers, before he flew back up to continue his patrol around the city."

And you don't need to say "with a smirk on his face" you can just leave it "he said with a smirk".


All in all, it's a good app, you just need to work on the roleplay sample and then it'll be good. Having a Green Lantern on here will be awesome! ; )

~Silence

[elegant badass silence]

ACCEPTED!

You still have mistakes in past and present tense but it's fine. Just try to keep a watch out for what tense you're writing in. Go head off and do your claims:
~Face Claims
~Update Who's Who