Guess Forever doesn't last //Ameila//

[John Blake]

John gasped as he woke on the park bench. Amelia! Was the first thing on his mind. His wife, his love, the woman he came back for. He didn't know she had betrayed him and moved on to love someone else. His heart was still tied to her forever and always. But Forever never lasts. Always can be broken. Only poor John Blake didn't realize it. He did not know in his brief absence his one and only love would move on and love another. He did not know his entire world which he had thought he had returned to would be ripped away from him in one single moment. He did not know that his heart so recently to begin beating again would be ripped viciously from his chest. He didn't know that some how, he had come back to late. He didn't know how his life so recently revived would be over in his eyes. His wife about to be ripped away by another man....He didn't know. "Amelia!" He screamed into the sky, hooping she would be close enough to hear as he ran forward, looking for the shine of her blond hair or the dazzle of her blue eyes...

[Amelia Raven Blake]

She walked down the sidewalk, blonde hair swishing. She was in a good mood. A good mood that was soon to be destroyed. Her blue eyes were twinkling in the sunlight. She still loved John Blake, love never really died, but she had moved on. That's how it was supposed to work. She was only human and humans moved on eventually.

However, when she heard her name being shouted everything to cave in around her. Her eyes jumped towards the park. No...couldn't be... She crossed the street, stopping when she stepped foot into the park. "John....?" She whispered, shocked.

Her blue eyes trailed up and down his figure. Same lean and muscular build, same brown hair, slightly ruffled, same muddy brown eyes. But something had changed. Her heart didn't jump when she saw him, she didn't want to run to him and throw her arms around him. She wanted to hug him, but not as she once had. She wanted to kiss his cheek but in a friendly way, not teasingly as she once had.

And knowing all that hurt.

[John Blake]

John saw her and his heart took flight. His love was there. She had been in the park. She was here. "Amelia!" He cried joyously, running to her and scooping her up, spinning her about and setting her down.

Then he realized something was wrong. She wasn't smiling. She wasn't laughing. She hadn't run to him. She hadn't met him in the middle. There was not the same loving sparkle in her eyes.

"Amelia?" He asked questioningly, the light in his eyes replaced by pain as he took a step back. His mud brown eyes searched hers, pain filling them as he took another step back. What has happened...? He thought silently. He said nothing more as he took yet another step back. Something was wrong....In his heart he knew, as it began to fall apart, they were over. Something to be thrown in a back room and forgotten, never to be remembered again....He could see it in her eyes...

[Amelia Raven Blake]

Amelia looked at him. "You-you're alive..." She whispered, still surprised. She smiled softly. She took a step towards and gently hugged him, in a gentle friendly way. "I can't believe it..." She said softly, offering a smile. She took a step back, looking him up and down.

She waved a hand, "Care to walk?" She asked, brushing the hair from her face. She nervously began fiddling with the necklace of her parents' rings. She should have known that he would know something was wrong, he and Matthew both seemed to know when something was wrong. Nothing went past them. How was she going to explain Matthew?

She looked at him, her blue eyes studying him. "How'd you do it?" She asked him. "Did Hel help you?" She asked, shifting her weight, curiosity in her eyes. She still felt horrible. She would feel horrible for a long while. That much was certain.

[John Blake]

John watched her. He did not lift his arms to hug her back. He couldn't even return her friendly smile. Not while his heart was peeling itself apart piece by piece, each slice screaming her name in agony. "If I'm alive why does this feel worse than death?" He said in a cracking tone.

He took a step back from her again. He shook his head at her question. "No...I don't want to walk...I feel as if I can barely stand..." He shook his head to clear it, his dark brown hair a tad longer than normal with his lengthily absence.

He looked at her, shaking his head sadly. "Hel warned me nothing but pain would be paid to me at my return...I didn't listen....After months of begging her she sent me back." He took another step back away from her. Away from his life. Leaving his heart shattered where he had stood. If one could bleed from a breaking heart blood would have been rolling down his chest, staining his white shirt. "She was right..." He whispered.

[Amelia Raven Blake]

Amelia winced. "John...I'm sorry....let me explain..." She sighed, running a hand through her golden hair. "I can't choose who to love. No one can. Love is just chemicals released from the brain. It just happened...he helped me when I was without you...and it just...happened..."

She guided him to a bench and pushed him onto it, sighing as she sat beside him, not close but beside him. "I"m sorry John...really I am...If I could I would take away your pain...but I know I can't do that..."

She looked away. She had done this. She had done this to him. She couldn't imagine hurting like this from something other than a bullet to the heart. "I wish I could say something...anything...to help dull the pain..." She didn't look at him. "But I know I can't..."

[John Blake]

John shook his head, standing up as soon as she pushed him down. "I do not want to know....I do not care to know...." He stepped back, his knees near to buckling. "Then I need to find a doctor that can rip the portion of my brain that controls this plague of emotion from my skull..." He whispered, stumbling back a little father.

At her words he shook his head again. "Nothing takes this pain...you should know..." He stepped back once more, not meaning to wound her with his next words. "Now I truly know how you felt after Sullivan....and maybe I should have let the master of glass kill me that day....Save me from this road I'm on..." He took another step away from her, shaking his head, his eyes darkening with the wetness of tears he would not permit to fall.

He shook his head in despair. "I do not want your help...I don't need the lemon in his wound..." He whispered, fighting back the tears that were forming in greater mass in his eyes. He couldn't look at her...His wife. The mother of his children...The woman he had nearly died for several times, and actually had died for twice...And now she loved another...

[Amelia Raven Blake]

Amelia looked sadly at him. They were breaking each other's hearts. She deserved it. She definitely deserved it. "You've always deserved better than me, John...go find someone else...someone that deserves the great, honest, man that you are..." She looked down at the ground.

She winced at his words. Her own eyes filled and she looked up at him once again. "Don't say that....don't ever say that...I'm the one that always deserved death....not you. Never you." She sighed, standing, looking on with sad blue eyes.

"I'm sorry...I lied...Sullivan was right. He'll always be right. You and I both know it."

She took a step back, away from him.

[John Blake]

John shook his head. A single tear rolled down his face. "All I ever wanted was you....And now you're telling me it's over and to find someone new...." He shook his head, another tear rolling down his cheek, not able to keep them back any longer, only hope to slow them.

John shook his head again. "No...I want death....I need it now....Hel was right...I shouldn't have come back....I want to die." He whispered in a strained tone. He had never voiced his wish for death before...

He shook his head again. "Sullivan was wrong for a long time....You've proved him right with your actions..." He whispered very quietly, yet another tear. He slowly slipped his ring off and set it on the concrete. "Give it to him..... now he doesn't have to buy his own..." He whispered, a tear falling off his face and landing in the center of the ring.

[Amelia Raven Blake]

Amelia sighed, looked at the ground, sighing softly, chewing at her lip. "Would you rather me lie? Would you rather me lie and pretend? John, I'm sorry. Alright? I don't know what else to say. I'm sorry I'm human....I'm sorry I moved on...but I thought you were gone forever, so I moved on, hoping I would actually be able to create a life from the shreds you left me with."

She winced, her face twisting in a grimace. "Alyss and William need you," she said, shifting her weight and allowing her sapphire blue eyes to shift to his figure, the broken remnants of the man who'd once been her hero. "William walked in on me trying to slit my throat, don't try and do anything like that to either him or Alyss. They don't need to see that."

No. He was always right. Amelia thought bitterly, Always. She did not, however, voice her thoughts, instead she just sadly shook her head. What kind of monster did he take her for? Apparently a very large one. She would not take his ring. She did not plan on marrying Matthew any time soon, and she was positive that Matthew wasn't planning on purposing any time soon, if he ever did.

[John Blake]

John shook his head. "No. I don't want anymore of your lies." He said, a flat tone as he backed away from her. His heart was gone. Dead. Its feeble beats had stopped, all that was left was a dead organ. It felt as though it wasn't even pumping his blood through his veins anylonger. He wouldn't have minded - if that was the case it would have only been a few painful minutes until death took him under it's wing. But he knew what death felt like - this was worse. Ten fold this was worse.

John looked at her. He shook his head, holding back the sob that rose in his throat. "You expect me to be happy with the product of our love? Act like nothing happened when I know that love is dead? William never liked me, and Alyss has seen me with a gun to my head before. Oh yeah, because the one I loved was dead." He whispered, trying to hold in the sob. "But if it makes you feel better, I'll make sure they aren't there to watch." He said, his hand moving to his hip where his gun would have been. He swore a bit, because his gun wasn't there. If it had been, he would have gone to rejoin Hel right then and there.

He looked at his ring on the ground, shaking his head. "It looks more like an object of hate than of love..." He whispered. He moved his foot and kicked it. It flew and landed next to the gutter, almost falling in. John gave a faint smirk. "Almost 2,000 on that ring...It belongs in the sewers. Some rat can choke on it..." He whispered, shaking his head. More tears rolled down his face, but he wouldn't look at her. Looking at her would kill him more than it already was.

[Amelia Raven Blake]

"For the love of God, John, listen to yourself!" Amelia said, a sudden burst of irritation falling through her. "They're your children! Your children, John!" She shook her head, irritably. "Life moves on, John. You died in my arms. I couldn't live my entire life wishing for something that wasn't coming back, or I didn't think was coming back. What kind of life would that have been? Think about someone other than yourself for one god damn minute!"

She shook her head, brushing the hair back from her face. "If anything, you should have pleased that I didn't live my life in mourning." She sighed looking away from him.