Jeff Knight

[jeffknight]

{Jeff Knight}

Name:Jeff Knight {Name here}
Nicknames:Jeffy {Nickame here}
Age:17 {Age here}
Occupation:High school student 3'th year {Job here}

Eye color:Sky blue {Eye color Here}
Hair color:Part Black and Part Purple {Hair Color here}
Playby:Matt Smith {Playby here}
Canon/Original:Original {canon or original}
Powers:Lycanthropy {Yes or no, if yes then list below}
{1} {POWER ONE HERE}
{2} {POWER TWO HERE}
{note-if you want more then two powers just copy the code from one of the other two and then copy and paste and fill out the third power}

Parents: Matt Knight {Dad} {Mom Jill Knight }
Siblings:N/A {name&whatever} {name&whatever}
Children:N/A {Name&whatever} {name&whatever}
Other:He is also a tad bit Emo and a Tech dude {Names}

Likes:Drawing, Playing Video games ,Writing,meeting new peoples, Want to try something new.

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[/ul]
Dislikes:Peoples geting pick on, Hurting peoples while in his wolf form killing someone in his wolf form, Have no contror over his wolf self.

{1}
{2}
{3}
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{5}[/ul]

Strengths: Drawing, Writing, and Freerunning

{1}
{2}
{3}[/ul]

Weaknesses:Wolfbane and Sliver rounds,

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Personality:Jeff is one cool kid to hang out with. peoples will tean to see him happy, but for Jeff,he mostly want to to be sad due to his childhood. but if he see one of his friends is geting hurt, he use his own body to save his friends, sure that hurt him but it better then for him to get hurt but not his friends.

But mostly some peoples think that jeff is happy everyday, But no, due to the childhood he growup with he mostly don't care for friends at all, but there are few who can understand him and his lifestyle. But in high school you see him mostly eating by himself in a table by the wall near the window. {5+ sentences here}

History:Jeff was born in Shibuya ,Japan in the year of 1995 with his human mom Jill Knight and his Werewolf Father Matt Knight. During his Childhood years he was just like a noural kid he hang out and making a few friends in there school. During his teen's years his dad told him about the Knight's bloodline, it starting with his Great, Great Grandpa Jon Knight. From that everyone with the knight name become a Werewolf. He was in shock about that and storm out of the house to coup with this new piece about himself. But Tonight was a full moon, Jeff begin to change into a Human-wolf hybreed. When he change only his panit stay with him. Thus his Wolf life have begon, From his first change into his wolf form he felt he can hurt or even worst killing someone in his wolf form. But one day change everything about Jeff's life Himself, his mom and his dad went oversea and begin to live in the US, in New york. So from that day on he begin to train himself to become one with his woff side with the help of his dad and his friends. {5+ sentences here}

RP Sample:It was the year of 2012 he was 16 year old in his 2'th year of high school in the US. he was in his Drama class. His teacher ask them to get a parther and work on a quick play in 15 mins. Jeff said to his parther" So what kind of play you want to work on?" His Parther was a Girl. The Girl said toJeff" well how about a boy want to prove to a girl that love come in all shape and size?"
Jeff Thought about the idea by rubbing his chin and said to the Girl" Ok, i can work with that idea, what is your name?" The Girl said to Jeff" My name is Lilly nice to meet you" Jeff smile at Lily and said to her" Likewise" As these two went back to work on there play. {Show us what you can do}[/size][/blockquote]

[elegant badass silence]

PENDING!

You are pending for the following reasons:

-PLAY BY
...Uhm.... Matt Smith....doesn't look like a teenager....?

-LIKES

Want to try something new

What does this mean? He likes to want to try something new? That doesn't make much sense. I think you mean he likes trying new things. I suggest rephrasing that.

-DISLIKES

Peoples geting pick on

Alright. First off, 'peoples' isn't necessarily a word. This sentence doesn't flow, nor does it make perfect sense. We're all about grammar and spelling here, since we are a semi-literate role-play. 'Getting' is spelled wrong and the sentence is off, as I've said. It should read as 'people getting picked on' not 'peoples geting pick on'.

Hurting peoples while in his wolf form

Again with the 'peoples'.

killing someone in his wolf form

You've already said that he doesn't like hurting people in his wolf form, this is basically the same thing just to a different degree. Can you think of another dislike?

Have no contror over his wolf self

Again, this sentence doesn't flow nor does it sound right. 'Control' is spelled wrong, for starters. Instead of reading like this it should read like 'having no control over his wolf self.'

-WEAKNESSES
He needs to have three weaknesses, he only has two.

-PERSONALITY
There are a lot of grammar mistakes here, and a few spelling. Going sentence by sentence this is what I found wrong:

Jeff is one cool kid to hang out with.

This sentence is okay, but you don't explain why he's a cool kid to hang out with. Another thing that's wrong with it is that, you say he's cool but not much of his personality supports that.

peoples will tean to see him happy, but for Jeff,he mostly want to to be sad due to his childhood

Sentences begin with capital letters and 'peoples' shouldn't be 'peoples'. Tean? What...what are you trying to say here? There should be a space between the comma and 'he'. The 'mostly want to be sad' doesn't flow, it needs some rephrasing.

but if he see one of his friends is geting hurt, he use his own body to save his friends, sure that hurt him but it better then for him to get hurt but not his friends.

Again, sentences start with capital letters and 'but' isn't really a sentence starter. 'If he see one of his' doesn't flow, rephrase this please. 'Getting' is spelled wrong again, use spell check please, that's why it's here. Again, 'he use his own body' doesn't flow, please rephrase this. This whole last part 'sure that hurt him but it better then for him to get hurt but not his friends' doesn't flow at all and needs a lot of rephrasing. Plus, 'then' should be 'than.

But mostly some peoples think that jeff is happy everyday, But no, due to the childhood he growup with he mostly don't care for friends at all, but there are few who can understand him and his lifestyle.

...This whole part needs to be rephrased and broken up. It doesn't flow at all and it doesn't make sense.'Every day' is two words. His name should be capitalized and the second 'but' should not be capitalized. 'Grow up' is two words and should be 'grew up'.

But in high school you see him mostly eating by himself in a table by the wall near the window.

This sentence is a little wordy. It's alright but you might want to rephrase it a little.

-HISTORY
The history has the same deal as the personality. It's a bit longer so I"m not going to go sentence by sentence, so I advise putting it on Microsoft Word and taking a look at what's wrong with it. There's a lot of spelling issues with this one, as well as grammatical errors.

-ROLEPLAY SAMPLE
As I said with the personality and history, this has a lot of errors both spelling wise and grammatical. You should start a new paragraph every time a new person is speaking and I would actually like it if you could go more into what Jeff feels and his surroundings. You do a lot of telling instead of showing. Your wordings are off, which also goes for the personality and the history, I'd like you to rephrase a lot of things.

-ALL IN ALL
You have a lot to work on in the spelling and grammar department, but with some work I think you can make this app ten times better. Thank you for joining Heroes Arise, I look forward to accepting your application as soon as possible.

- silence

Sorry about this Silence, I just wanna add another point....

EYE + HAIR COLOUR
Matt Smith has 'dull green' eyes and brown hair. Unless you can edit his pictures into blue eyes, black and purple hair, plz change it. Srsly it's mildly irritating me as a Doctor Who fan.

But yeah, thanks for joining.
- Crow